Freshers week predictions based on your horoscope

16/02/2024

Dhuha Usman (she/her) and Orla McAndrew (she/her) brings your Freshers week horoscope predictions

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Image by Vedrana Filipović

By Orla McAndrew and Dhuha Usman

Nervous about what Freshers’ week has in store for you? Worry no more because this is not going to help you at all. Freshers’ week is busy and unpredictable and will probably be fine, unless you’re a Cancer, this might be a rough week for you. Just remember, all good things take time and most importantly, have fun!

Aquarius: 20th January - 18th February

You’ve done a shop at Waitrose and were disgusted by the sight of B&M from the carpark. On the drive to Constantine you reminisce on your gap year adventures and wonder where your elephant print harem pants are, you know, the ones you got in Thailand. As you unzip your gilet and pile your Waitrose essentials into the fridge you wonder how on Earth people are supposed to live in a measly band four large ensuite room and mentally prepare yourself to say goodbye to Mummy and Daddy’s mansion. Your thoughts and prayers go to those suffering in Derwent.

Pisces: 19th February - 20th March

‘Yes, I know Matty Healy is problematic but cancel culture is a sickness’ can be heard echoing down the corridor of your halls. I can guarantee that the fighting urge to defend Matty is holding you back but it’s okay, we know that you are an indie kid to your soul. You are not like all the others and you do like The 1975 more than everyone else but no, we don’t want to see your box tattoo. All jokes aside, no one is going to judge you in Flares when you drop the alt act for a good dance to a bit of Abba.

Aries: 21st March - 19th April

With a suitcase full of Gymshark leggings and a yoga mat on your shoulder, you are heading straight into James with a clear idea of joining the netball team as their centre girl. As you swish your high ponytail up the stairs and into your flat, your excitement builds as the proximity to the sports village gets closer and closer. Once you annihilate your alcohol collection through Freshers’ week, you prepare for a very green and sober diet for the new sports season ahead.

Taurus: 20th April - 20th May

Your car is packed to the brim with, let's be honest, way too much stuff and clothes that will never leave your wardrobe. Your notes app is full of colour-coordinated to do lists. First on the list is unpacking your stuff into your new room in David Kato. The gated community vibes of Kato are perfect for you and you have already bagsied the best cupboards in the kitchen (snooze you lose). Your bag for your first lecture is sorted, and your designated clubbing bag is full of wipes, tissues, and a lot of mints. You’ll be the only one to remember to put water by your bed, so try not to rub in your lack of hangover too much.

Gemini: 21st June - 20th June

After carefully reviewing all of your Pinterest boards, and roughly 30 (very successful) trips to Ikea, Langwith will not know what’s hit it!. Your room is adorned with fairy lights, fake plants (being a plant mum and a fresher is simply too much), tapestries, and cushions and throws that are fated to be flung to the floor when you’ve had too much to drink. You are ready to prop your door open and socialise with your housemates, who will immediately declare that your room has the best aesthetics, and try to pinch a few baskets that you’re saving to put everything you buy during freshers week in.

Cancer: 21st June - 22nd July

You’re in an infested 20-person house in Halifax and the Charles is about to become your regular. You’ve got to do something to forget about the absolute state of your accommodation. ‘It’s nicer to be in a full house than a flat’ you repeat to yourself day after day. ‘Halifax is like a real community’ your poor coursemates will hear numerous times. I think the part of ‘community’ you may be ignoring are the silverfish. It’s not all doom and gloom over in Halifax though, you’ll get to hop on the bus before the library stop and bag yourself a seat.

Leo: 3rd July - 22nd August

You will hear the phrase ‘I thought you were going to be really mean at first but you’re actually really nice’ in the weeks to come. Your resting face may be strong but don’t worry, you will make friends regardless and they will come to know and understand that you are in fact having a good time despite your ability to smile regularly. You will have to tone down the sarcasm for a while as your new friends get used to your deadpan facial expressions. That face and your dry humour might just be too much for them to handle all at once. Give it a couple of weeks and you’ll be the funniest in the room again.

Virgo: 23rd August - 22nd September

You’re the poor Southerner who has ‘never been this far North’. Yes, this is North Yorkshire. No, the accent isn’t that hard to understand and you are starting to be borderline offensive on day one. Once you stop ignoring the fact that you have chosen the north over the south, the beauty of Yorkshire will soon start to sink in as you bask in the glory of God’s own county (by this, I am referring to Yorkshire, not Hertfordshire). It’ll be ‘reet, just make sure you are armed with winter gear for the brutal Yorkshire wind. And for the final time, yes, we know you are from the South.

Libra: 23rd September - 22nd October

You’ve been waiting for Freshers’ since the day you were born. A week of partying in a big city with no parents, what’s not to love. York’s somewhat humble club scene might just ground you a little at first but the quirks and charms of the city’s nightlife will soon play up to your expectations, even if they are wildly American. ‘Work hard, play hard’ is what you are telling yourself but the former may continue to be ignored past Freshers’ week. Kuda Tuesdays happen every week, I am begging you to write that essay.

Scorpio: 23rd October - 21st November

You have the reputation of being no-nonsense and slightly cold hearted, but you HATE change so coming to uni will see that thrown out of the window. You may cry a lot more (and more publicly) than anyone else you will meet but honestly it’s a great way to break the ice. Once you find your people it’ll be time to re-enter your Reputation era and embrace the Scorpio stereotypes. Just remember it’s okay if you get homesick even if you’re from Leeds (definitely not speaking from personal experience).

Sagittarius: 22nd November - 21st December

The independence of moving out has got to your head, you’re a bit overwhelmed but you’re trying to ignore it. You’re going to every Freshers’ night out but somehow make it back before all of your flatmates and also on your own. The moral of that story is STOP wondering off on nights out. You don’t need to go to every single event, your flatmates are going to get tired of looking for you! Have a night in, recharge and start again. I recommend recharging on the night you’re forced into Popworld for every reason you can think of.

Capricorn: 22nd December - 19th January

You’ve scoured every Facebook group, followed everyone you possibly can on Instagram and suddenly your Snapchat is overwhelmed by people you don’t actually know. Why are there so many Jacks in York? You’ve given yourself the job of creating all the possible group chats you may need for the next couple of weeks before you never use them again. You’ll settle in and recognise people by bitmoji. Your ‘group chat God’ status is keen but not necessarily a bad thing, just don’t wear that Alcuin lanyard after Freshers’ week. Try and find a Taurus, you might just get on.