Editor's Note: Am I Good Enough?


Deputy MUSE Editor, Emily Harvie discusses struggling with confidence and overcoming self-doubt.

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Image by Annie Watson

By Emily Harvie

I joined Nouse in my second year at York. I was actually almost forced to run for a position by our current Editor, Matthew. When I then lost the role of Film and TV Editor, Matthew glared at me as I went to sit back down mouthing something along the lines of “You’d better run for deputy editor”. He had more confidence in my abilities than I did myself.

But looking back, I’m so thankful to him. I got the deputy position, moved to Editor of the section the next term and am now writing this just over a year later as Deputy Muse Editor. And actually, once again, it was Matthew who convinced me to run for this position – thanks Matt!

Confidence and self-doubt have always been things I have struggled with. I find myself wondering whether I’m good enough to be doing something, and doubting myself at each turn. This general lack of confidence was what stopped me from joining Nouse in first year and has threatened to stop me many times since.

But although these thoughts will probably never completely go away, I have grown to realise that being a part of Nouse isn’t just about who is the best writer, the best editor, the most extroverted nor the most creative. I am “good enough” to be here simply because I love being a part of this paper. I enjoy the editing process so much, enjoy being with our amazing team so much, enjoy the writing so much, that it doesn’t really matter whether or not I’m “good enough” at any of it.

So many opportunities in Nouse, and in my university life in general, have arisen from just saying “F*** it!” and taking the plunge. I will never be perfect but this paper has given me the confidence and the strength to do the things that scare me anyway. I am slowly learning to have those nerves and doubts swimming in my brain telling me I’m not as good as insert name here and just doing it anyway. Listen to the people telling you to go for it, rather than that one voice telling you to give up.

My advice to anyone doubting their ability to do something is to just take a chance – and that’s what I’ve seen from our amazing new members this term. So many of them display a confidence that I envy and to the freshers joining the team in such times as these, it’s even more important to do the things that intimidate you, as that’s how you’re going to make friends, experience new things, at a time where you can’t go out or can’t have in-person socials.

In this edition of The Weekly Nouse, Chief Sub-Editor Dom is writing his first Muse piece, an article on mockumentaries for Film and TV, and one of our freshers and current Deputy Arts Editor Hannah is writing her first piece ever, discussing the importance of independent bookstores. Nouse gives so many firsts, so many great opportunities and I’m proud to be a part of this paper, sharing these experiences with our amazing team.

So if anyone does read this who is doubting themselves, or has that voice telling them no, my (very cheesy) advice would be to take a deep breath and do the very thing that scares you. You never know what will happen and it will almost always be worth it. I promise that whatever it is, you are good enough.