Football Roses Sport

Football firsts hit four in easy win

If Lancaster Sport were a dog, in this game York picked up its feeble carcass, rolled it up in some old carpet, read a brief memoriam and threw it into a quarry. After last year's defeat, revenge had been a long time coming. A year in fact. When it came, it was served up in the best way possible: ice cold. (Thumbnail credit Photo credit: Sam Newsome)

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University of York 4
Lancaster University 0


If Lancaster Sport were a dog, in this game York picked up its feeble carcass, rolled it up in some old carpet, read a brief memoriam and threw it into a quarry. After last year's defeat, revenge had been a long time coming. A year in fact. When it came, it was served up in the best way possible: ice cold.

After a subdued first 10 minutes - the main incident had been a moron urinating in the Lancaster goalmouth - the game burst into life. One of many soft free kicks came in from the right. One-time Bad Taste clothes horse Dom O'Shea leapt to attack the ball like a bearded salmon and Lancaster dealt with the threat. But the referee blew up and to Lancaster's horror gave a penalty, apparently for a push on O'Shea. It was a soft decision. Nonetheless, up strode alliterative man of the match Mark McLeod to send Lancaster's keeper the wrong way.

Two minutes later, the referee made another crucial decision. As Geordie gabster Joe Brennan colourfully lamented his throw falling short of its intended target, McLeod flew in late on the diminutive Lancaster captain. The referee had already given more fouls than a generous chicken farmer, was he going to send off McLeod? No: just a talking to. Lancaster's captain, already riled at the penalty decision, lay in torment on the floor, moaning in pain and at the referee in equal measure. "So this is British justice!" he screamed. Mindful of the impact that such dissent could have for the FA's respect campaign, the referee booked him, rubbing metaphorical salt into his literal wound.

From then on, York had the game by the throat and squeezed until it went blue in the face. The 3-5-2 formation worked brilliantly. Support got into the box and Witherwick and McLeod shielded the back three, who were excellent. Lancaster's defence couldn't cope with O'Shea or Dreamz Murphy's running into the channels, or their aerial ability. Going forward, although the Lancaster number 10 could hold the ball up, they fundamentally lacked pace.

York extended their lead on the half hour. Great build up play down the right from Brennan made space for the cross to fellow Geordie medic McKellow, who headed the ball back across the box. O'Shea went in to challenge the keeper, with the ball rebounding to Murrills to emphatically spank the rebound into the roof of the net.

In the first half, York keeper Emmerson was redundant, so the second half begged for a change of approach from Lancaster. But if anything, York's confidence grew as they started shifting the ball with surety around Lancaster's half. Dreamz Murphy attempted a Di Canio volley from just inside the area, but in a slight to his credibility, the ball decided to spoon into the air. But if anyone was laughing, they weren't five minutes later, when Dreamz got in behind the Lancaster defence with the ball bouncing between him and the keeper. The keeper hesitated and Dreamz ducked Colin Jackson-like to head the ball home. Murphy wheeled off in ecstasy, removing his shirt and throwing it to the floor as he raced up the touchline. Then, like a man left to pick up the cake and jelly strewn on the floor after a party, he soberly walked back 20 yards to retrieve his shirt.

O'Shea completed the rout in similar fashion. The keeper hesitant once more, O'Shea rounded him and slotted home. Witherwick was overjoyed and said he had generic adjectives in mind about all his players, such as 'excellent' and 'superb'. His team put the cherry on the biggest and moistest Roses cake York could have dreamt of. Witherwick put it best: "We've had a huge mountain to climb, but the view from the top is all the better for it."

In the men's seconds game, stunning strikes from Jack Crane and Mark Johnson complemented a Dan Cox double. Another four goal drubbing disguised a scrappy affair, punctuated by the naked antics of supporting Lancaster rubgy boys who rolled around on the side of the pitch, throwing mysterious frisbee shaped objects at York players. Even so it was a perfect warm-up and welcome boost ahead of the College Cup.

York Line-up:
GK - Emmerson 7, CB - Shaun Evans 7, CB - Greg Gardner 7, CB - Alex Cooper 8; RWB - Ed Murrills 7, LWB - Ian McKellow 7; CM - Matt Witherwick 8, CM - Mark McLeod 9, CM - Joe Brennan 8; F - Dreamz Murphy 7, F - Dom O'Shea 8 Subs: CB- Laurie Swann 7, CM - Tom Wilson 7, F - Mark Gouland 6

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3 Comment

Bob Posted on Sunday 18 Aug 2019

This is an amazing opening paragraph. Actually, I'm a little disappointed there wasn't more about dead dogs and carpet in the rest of the article.

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ryan Posted on Sunday 18 Aug 2019

this is fairly amusing, but you have a ridiculous reporting style john

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Roses 2017: UYAFC 1’s Preview – UNIVERSITY OF YORK MENS FOOTBALL CLUB Posted on Sunday 18 Aug 2019

[…] 2009: York 4 Lancaster 0 A dream result for UYAFC, with goals from McLeod, Murrils, Murphy and O’Shea earning the emphatic victory. MATCH REPORT. […]

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